I’ve been busy, but not in the regular way.
I went to see Muse yesterday in London, which was fantastic, and today I have been revising hard once more. When I haven’t been revising I have been watching Top Gear in order to destress me, but I have this weird panicky feeling at the moment.
Basically it stems from someone I live with. Like everyone who goes to university and gets a house in their second year, I have made mistakes with the people I live with. There is this one girl who constantly stresses me out and it is getting very annoying at the moment. She blocked me on Facebook a while ago which has made communicating while I am at home very difficult. She was arguing with me over text yesterday which culminated in me breaking and telling her to “Fuck off.” I don’t need the aggravation and she needs to calm the fuck down.
But anyway, she unblocked me yesterday, which I found rather funny, and I posted on our group about the money people owed the bills account. She immediately starts being aggravating again and reveals that she opened a letter addressed to me. She already had her boyfriend stay in our house illegally for six months, which is a fantastic bargaining chip that I enjoy bringing up, and now she has done this. She can’t explain herself so, instead of doing so, she blocks me again. I had an open channel with her for a glorious half an hour. To make sure she doesn’t reverse her decision and unblock me to hurl more abuse at me, I have blocked her and blocked her number. I have precisely nothing to worry about and, the thing is, it really doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t really make me angry, it doesn’t keep me up at night, but I do have to ask her why she bothers? It only makes her more angry and the sooner she learns that it’s not worth it the sooner her life will improve.
The feeling I have at the moment is not one of anger, but an aforementioned panicky feeling and I don’t really know what to do with it. Once I see my friends again at university and go out to destress a little with them I know it will pass, but there’s a few days until I can do that as I am still at home. I will try meditating tonight as the usually helps. Unfortunately I do not have anyone whom I close enough to who I can just sit with for a while and everything will go away, nor do I have any pets who fill the de-stressing role that I desire of them, not until everyone gets back from their holidays.
This has been one hell of a jumbled post. Expect more stuff in the coming days because I have a number of posts already written and ready to be uploaded, however, last week when writing them I didn’t have the confidence to upload them. By the way, I now know how I am going to calm down. Zefrank’s videos that he made for ashow years ago are all fantastic. Watch Invocation for Beginnings, it’s my favourite video on the internet.
I hope you are all well, whoever and wherever you are. Everyone deserves happiness.