Over the past little while I’ve been trying to start and stick to a few different things but none of them have worked thus far. I work on some things periodically but there’s nothing I do where I go “I am going to work on this for an hour every day after dinner.” There are a few reasons for this, namely that it’s a lot easier to just zone-out and play games, especially since the time I do spend doing work for my course is very intense and, often, very stressful if I can’t make the maths make sense, but there’s something more which I haven’t found yet.
I think that, while I don’t like university much, I secretly enjoy my life at the moment. All that is required of me is that I pass my course and any time which I don’t spend doing that can be spent how I want. There’s a clear goal and it is simply a matter of using the huge amount of time given to me to achieve it in a useful way. For all the stress that working gives me, it’s an incredibly low-pressure environment.
Another reason for me being fairly lax at sticking to side projects, this blog included, is how much time I spend on my own. I have no one to compare myself to, no one nagging me to do work, I only need to do what I’ve already mentioned. Much as they stress me out, I am a person who benefits quite a lot from having a hard deadline.
It’s a lot like running, or so I’ve heard: it starts off being really difficult, especially when you try and make yourself do it every day, but, after a while, it gets a little easier, and you find that you enjoy it and have found time to do it instead of cramming it in. Then you do it every day without thinking. That’s when you know you’re into something, but it’s so easy to fall out of doing things. Just to reinforce that point, I am off to do some maths like I have been for the past fortnight. Every evening, at around this, I make myself do some maths because I just procrastinate less at night and, now that I am in a routine (don’t jinx it) it helps me focus even more.