Taking a step back

Tonight’s Dota has been a write off for me. I lost 4 ranked games in a row and I crushed in 3 of them yet, somehow, we still lost. It is incredibly frustrating. I wanted to cry after each one because it felt like trying to scale an overhang using only your teeth. My best friend posted this tonight and I do try to put things in perspective when I have terrible games like tonight.

Whether I like it or not, Dota 2 is incredibly important to me and I like to think I’m quite good, so when I play well and we still lose it affects me more than I like to admit. I remind myself, at times like this, when I just come off of a big loss, that Dota is, at the end of the day, just a game. A game that I play to the exclusion of everything, yes, but a game none the less, and I am in complete control of whether I want to go back into that environment.

If it ever got so bad that I didn’t want to play then I have the power to, with 2 clicks, completely remove Dota 2 from my life. People need to remember this, and I especially do sometimes. Even as I write this, 10 minutes after my game has finished, I get the feeling that I want to play again.

I want to prove that I can win. To whom, I don’t know, but my frustration has already turned into motivation so, when the time comes that I have finished my work and can once more commit to some ranked Dota 2, I can play as hard and as well as I have tonight.

Everyone has goals, and sometimes there are setbacks. Tonight has been a big setback for me, but do I still want to reach my goal of 3k MMR? You bet your arse I do. Once I get it, will I then want to achieve 3.5k? Of course! Hopefully I will keep improving. I know I have potential, I just want to prove it.

Regarding Dota 2 itself, there are other factors than just losing. Other people can make Dota 2 a nightmare of a place to be, and ranked games seem to bring out the worst of them. It’s rare to have a whole day without someone shit-talking at you, and everyone has to learn to either mute them or shut themselves the fuck up.

So, in this rambling post, what can we take away? Well, a few things. Firstly, when trying to get somewhere there will be hiccups and failures along the way, but if there are too many in one small space of time then it’s important to remember that you can always take another shot at things. If you discover that you are the source of your own problems then you need to take steps to sort yourself out before you recommit yourself to your goal. Most importantly though, take the bad with the good. For every bad day there is a good day. Perhaps sometimes the bad outweigh the good, but then you must treasure those good days. Remember them. Every day there is a new dawn.


Sorry for the sappy ending but I liked it 🙂


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